I've been reading Angie Smith's book Chasing God.
In one part she describes the meeting of Jesus and his first disciples, John, Andrew and Simon. They encounter Jesus and it's as though they are "so moved by His presence that they simply started walking."
They just started following right behind Him.
No questions asked about where He was going, no idea of the plan or the destination or how long it's going to take to get there.
Shortly after, Jesus turns around and asks them "what do you want?" and they respond with another question, "Rabbi, where are you staying?" (John 1:35-38)
I see myself here in their response, eager to follow but desiring a little more information about the game plan. I want to know the answers to the where, when, how questions that flutter around in my head.
This doesn't come from a place of distrust.
I do. I trust where God is leading me, I trust Jesus whom I am following...
But where specifically am I being lead? What's around the corner?
I like to be in the know but future stuff has the tendency to just feel like a big question mark. Like I'm chasing after God instead of walking with Him. Searching for the answers, trying to know the unknowable future. Shaking things around like a magic eight ball looking for clues that I'm on the right path.
I've blogged about this before. Where am I supposed to go? What's going to happen this year? How can I prepare for what's around the corner? Where am I going to be in five years? Who will I be in ten?
Jesus answers "come and you will see." (John 1:39)
So that's just what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna talk and write about my daydreams, the excitement, the plans, life right now, and where I hope it's going, but with a rooted understanding that God is in control, he guides my future, where he calls I will follow.
And I don't know all the answers and I never will until I reach my heavenly home.
But every day I am feeling more peace about the journey, my walk, and the timing of each step.