Unfortunately it was raining when we got out of the car but we plowed on, rented our skis and poles and hopped on the lifts and headed up an intermediate blue slope. It's been a while since I'd been skiing and I was feeling not so confident. In fact I was feeling downright fearful. I got off the lift and stood at the edge of the run and thought, "well, guess I'm going to live up here now."
I don't know when that happened, or why that happened. I know how to ski! Blue runs are my jam! I remember going skiing when I was younger and loving the speed, the challenge, proving that I could do harder slopes. I guess it's a part of growing up, and it's a part I really don't like. This deeper awareness that bad things do happen, that there are things in this world to be afraid of, that I have more to loose, that I can't do everything, that I might get hurt. You just don't have that sense when you're a kid.You're either fearless or oblivious.
So there I am, standing at the top of the slope trying to work up the nerve to make that first move, to frenchfrie and pizza my way down. I know by now that T.J. must be wondering where the heck I am. And in my head I can hear my dad's voice. He was the one who taught me to ski and encouraged me to try harder slopes, and celebrated my victories. He was also the one who talked me in to going on one more run at the end of the day, which usually ended up being one run too many. And I inevitably found myself in a similar position to where I stood now, at the top of a tricky turn wondering how I was going to get down without dying (I'm a little dramatic, so sue me). But dad would stand below me, shouting, "Why are you crying?! Come on down! You can't stay up there forever! You can do it! Let's goooo!"
So as a "grown up" I hear that now, in my head and also from T.J. my new cheerleader. But this time I didn't cry, thank you very much, and even though my legs were shaking, I made the first cut and slowly carefully made my way down. Then I tackled the moguls (that was a fun surprise...I feel like there should have been a sign) and when I finally reached T.J. patiently
But all that aside, we had a really great day out in the snow. We rode the lifts together, then T.J. would hop on the next one to go higher up the mountain, and we'd meet back at the bottom. We wore ourselves out until the rain and fog made it impossible to see and we headed to the lodge for lunch. After a couple beers and a lot of actual french fries we opted not to go back out on the slopes. At the car we peeled off soaking wet layers, then headed home to take late afternoon naps by the fire. The perfect end to our winter excursion.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9