Tuesday, January 5, 2016

a slow start

I've been dragging my feet a bit as we entered 2016. A new year is an exciting chance to start fresh, to make changes, to do better, to do more. But at the same time I always feel that kind of heavily. There's a lot of pressure at the New Year and I always fear that I'm about to dive in head first, too fast, and I'll just crash and burn by February. I don't like to start something I can't finish and I don't like to do something that I can't do perfectly, it's not exactly a character strength and there's not a lot of grace there. It means I feel some guilt that during this first week of  the new year, when everyone is setting goals and picking words and starting projects,  I'm still in my Christmas pjs and I've already had to use white-out in my brand new day planner.
I know this isn't totally unique. No one really likes the end of vacation and the start of Mondays and work and schedules. It also snowed on Sunday, and the first snow of the year is always a good excuse to pause, make hot chocolate, sit by the fire, turn on the Christmas tree (yes, of course it's still up) and just stay home.  But I've still felt behind the game and honestly just lazy when I see what so many others have already "accomplished" in this very first 5 days of 2016. And that's just crazy.
When I think about this new year I don't really know what it will look like, or even what I would want it to look like. Today all I had planned was to get my oil changed, and work on thank you notes, and get Hunley groomed, and at some point this week I suppose I need to start taking down the Christmas decorations. Other than that I don't have any real concrete goals for this year except to be a good wife and a better Christ follower. But that's enough, for now anyway. I think God has given me this rare year, chalk full of white space, with nothing on the calendar, no major plans or life changes as far as I can see, and I think it's meant to be a gift. A chance to stop planning, stop always looking forward and just abide in Him.
I feel like I've finally reached a place, a landmark, that I've been clawing to get to for years and I don't want to miss the beauty of being right here because I'm too busy wondering when or what the next stop will be. I don't want to be constantly running through lists and road maps in my head. I want to be quiet and still so I can hear Him speak into this year. 

7 comments :

  1. Happy new year, Shannon! I'm sure your 2016 will evolve into something memorable and remarkable. Can't wait to read all about it here!

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  2. I feel the same - I see so many posts about what people have accomplished so far just this year and what they still plan to do, and I feel like I am already behind! I don't have many huge goals for this year, I'm just thinking positive and whatever will be, will be! Happy New Year!

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  3. Hello from a random blogger. ^_^ your mom had referred to check out your site. You have a very lovely blog! I Love your wedding photos in your last post. They are beautiful and a dream! You have lots to be thankful for eh! Happy belated Anniversary and have a Wonderful New Year!!

    http://www.theoccupiedoptimist.blogspot.com

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  4. There are seasons in life. You are wise to let this one unfold and enjoy the present. I like your goals...good for any age or stage. Happy new year xo

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  5. Great thoughts! Be still my friend!

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  6. There is just something awesome about being happy and content with where you are now! I love this.

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  7. "I always fear that I'm about to dive in head first, too fast, and I'll just crash and burn by February." <--- yes, this, exactly. I'm really worried that this exact thing is going to happen to me...

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