Wednesday, December 16, 2015

a new Christmas

This will be our first Christmas together. This year is the start of the rest of all the Christmases. From here on out, no matter where we are, or whose family we visit, or who comes to visit us, the one constant for all Christmases to come will be T.J. and I, together.  That is both wonderful and yet, at the same time, hard. Hard because, until now, the constant has been me, my parents, and my sister. Year after year, every year. Either we were in New Jersey with my mom's side, or Tennessee with my dad's side, or in the England years it was just the four of us. Whether we traveled or stayed home, I always knew my sister and I would wake up together on Christmas morning and wait at the top of the stairs before mom and dad said we could come downstairs to see what was under the tree.

Christmases now are more fluid, flexible, changing and now I have a second family to share it with. As T.J. and I are the first in our both our families to tie the knot, we're all trying to figure out what holidays will look like, who's house we will wake up in Christmas morning, where we'll sleep each night we're in town.

It's going to look different. It's not going to feel like all the other Christmases of our childhood, and that's okay. I imagine, eventually, we will settle into a new pattern, a new normal, with traditions combined from my side and T.J.'s side. But right now we're in the in-between Christmas stage. The stage where we're not quite children anymore, but there aren't any other little ones about yet to shift the focus to.

I'm so thankful both our families live in the same town and that we don't have to pick who to visit... but still I'm curious to see what Christmas will look like this year. I'm nervous about managing everyone's expectations, and feelings, and making sure everyone gets to spend an equal amount of time with us.  So I'm also doing my best to manage my expectations, perhaps the hardest part of all.  I don't want to spend our entire vacation worrying, or feeling like I'm disappointing someone.  Mostly I just want T.J. and I to be able to relax together, to spend quality time with our families and friends, sharing meals, playing games, soaking up some Carolina sun (Lord, please let there be sunny blue skies the whole time we're in town), taking it easy, and enjoying our first Christmas as husband and wife. We need this vacation, so bring on the first Christmas of all the future Christmases.

And at the end of the day, probably the biggest thing to get used to will be sleeping in the same room under our parents' roof- hah.

6 comments :

  1. enjoy your first Christmas together & starting new traditions for your own family!

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  2. Recognizing that expectations are high and that the times have changed will make the transition much easier for everyone. Just let the love flow and all will be well!

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  3. Great post! I'm actually blogging about this same topic tomorrow for my Thoughtful Thursday post. It can be hard to merge traditions and families at the holidays. It's a conversation my fiance and I had a few months ago.

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  4. Oh it's such a challenge when you make the transition for holidays as a married couple. The most important thing is to do what feels right and best for you!!

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  5. It's gonna be fine and fun and maybe not sunny, but we won't care. You have always been my girl who needs to please everyone. Speaking as the parent who contributed that to your DNA, just know you can't. But everyone does adjust to the new normal, and we're just so excited to have you both home. Cannot wait to see you Mrs. M. !!

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  6. I hope it is the bestest of the best first Christmas for you and TJ and that you will begin making your own traditions. May it be a joyous time!

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