I am overwhelmed by all the blogging I need to catch up on. So much has happened in the past few months, and between planning a wedding, getting married and moving across the country I don't know where to begin. But I want to begin. I want to remember all these days and all the awesome parts of life that are happening. It's all happening. It's so crazy that days I've dreamed about, days I've previously only talked about with words like someday, and one day, and when will that be, and I wish are now right here. I am here. Someone told my mom, and she told me, to say that to yourself so you don't miss a thing in all the excitement.
I have to keep reminding myself that I am here. In Washington, in a marriage. I am here, not as a visitor, not as a long distance love with a return plane ticket. I had to do that a lot one week ago today when we got married, to remind myself that I was there, that this was happening, this is surreal but this is really it.
So I told myself, I am here, every time I felt as though I could be floating above it all, looking down at the events in awe and wonder. I told myself that when we stood in the church on Friday and timidly rehearsed our parts for the next day, when I hugged and kissed all the friends and family that had travelled to town for us. And I said it when I woke up Saturday morning next to my sister (before excitedly waking her up), when my best friends poured into the hotel suite with cheers and exclamations, when I sat in the makeup chair or on the couch next to my mom. When she and my sister helped me into my dress, when I stood in the back of the church and my bridesmaids spontaneously started singing the hymn, when I took my dad's arm and we took a deep breath, I remembered I am here. When the doors open, when exchanged vows, when we kissed and we became man and wife, I was there.
Everyone says it goes by so fast, and it did, in the sense that after 26 years of not being married, in just a moment I was. But I wanted to feel it all deeply. I wanted to be overwhelmed by all the love and the family growing, and the dream in my little girl mind coming to life. So bear with me as I sort through all the thoughts, the wedding presents, and the pictures that are piling up. I want to relive it all-the flowers, the diy projects, the dancing, the dress, the joining of our lives, our mini honeymoon- and finally share the details of the day that I mostly kept secret from the blog.