T.J. and I are tying the knot one month from today!
I can't believe it's so close! That all the planning, and list making, and organizing are wrapping up, to culminate in what I hope will be the wedding I've been dreaming of since forever.
It feels like we still have a million things to do. Welcome bags to put together, 50 rsvp cards we're still waiting on to be returned by the end of the week (ahem), programs to print, ceremony music to finalize, seating charts to plan. But today, I'm going to do what my mom suggested and "dwell in the shelter of the most High... rest in shadow of the Almighty." (Psalm 9:1)
One way or another it will all come together in this last month.
I've been trying to imagine what I will be feeling on that morning one month from today, when everything is checked off the lists (Lord willing) and all that's left it to let the day unfold.
Will I have been able sleep the night before or will I be too anxious and excited, like a little kid before Christmas morning? I imagine my sister and I will have been up late in our bedroom, giggling and shaking our heads in disbelief that I'm getting married that next day. Like we used to do when we were waiting for Santa.
How will it feel to see my bridesmaids, my best friends, in the suite all around me that morning as we get ready? A room full of hairspray and perfume and laughter and nerves.
Will I cry when I catch my mom's eye as she helps me into my dress and my sister fluffs my veil?
What will it be like to see my dad that day, the first guy I loved?
Will I be able to take it all in, to capture pictures in my head of that morning at the hotel, of the ride to the church with my parents and my sister, our family of four for the last time before T.J. becomes an official part of it?
Will I remember to smell my bouquet and take a deep breath and exhale and appreciate all the once in a lifetime moments happening around me? Or will the scene, the colors, the music be swirling like a haze?
In the back of the church before the doors open will my heart pound out of my chest? And when I see T.J. for the first time and he sees me, will I be composed and calm or will the happy tears fall free?
Oh I can't wait to see what that wonderful day will hold!
The magnitude, the weight, the deepness of that day, of the vows we'll exchange, of the shift in our lives that will happen as I take on a new role, another layer of my identity.
Not just a daughter, sister, friend.
In one month I'll become T.J.'s wife.